Frances' Perspective:

First, a little bit of background. I “met” David on AveMariaSingles.com, a hard-core Catholic “find your spouse” website. He read my profile and wrote me an email introducing himself on August 13, 2005 (the day of Renee and Tom Kurtz’ wedding). The next day, I read his profile and responded. An email exchange ensued. At the time, I lived in Medford, New Jersey, and David lived in Coral Springs, Florida.

On August 29, 2005, Hurricane Katrina walloped New Orleans, David’s hometown. Most of David's family evacuated, but Frank Liberto, David’s father, was stranded in their Lakeview home. I wondered whether David would need a few weeks' break from our communications to deal with trauma of the event. But he chose to write to me as he processed the reality of losing his childhood home and the memories it contained and almost losing his father (who was rescued by boat and evacuated). I admired David’s resiliency (“never underestimate a Liberto!” he often says) and his trust in God.

One month of writing to one another led to our first phone call. Six weeks later, I flew down to Florida to see David face-to-face. Soon after I returned to New Jersey, David and I decided to begin a courtship together, for the purpose of discerning whether God was calling us to marry one another. We were strong in our individual relationships with the Lord (ever growing in faith and trust) and confident in our vocations to married life (although David did take the time to more deeply consider the priesthood months into our relationship). We committed ourselves to sharing our hearts and minds with one another in further emails, letters, phone calls, and visits. David met my father when Dad was in Ft. Lauderdale on a layover (they met without me!). I met David’s family when we visited New Orleans for his sister Jenny’s wedding.

In the late winter, David and I began to talk about moving to be near one another. We decided that neither of us wanted to stay where we were. We discussed our interest in several states and our preferences converged on North Carolina – southern enough for David and northern enough for me. We debated various cities within the state and chose Charlotte for its size (big enough to have a couple really good hospital systems and nursing schools for David but not big enough for me to get lost in the population/traffic), geography (3 hours from the ocean and 2 from the mountains, with plenty of forests, lakes, and rivers around), climate (temperate, humid enough for David, and without extreme cold in the winter), strong job market, moderate cost of living (and opportunities for future home ownership), and growing Catholic population. The Diocese of Charlotte is generally on target theologically (orthodox), has a variety of parishes and a strong Catholic school system, and offers numerous opportunities for community service. I really liked what I read about Bishop Peter Jugis, and he has proven himself worthy of our honor and affection.

We chose June 2006 for our move to Charlotte so that David could finish a semester of pre-nursing courses at Broward Community College before then. He interviewed at the Carolinas Medical Center and was offered a position as a unit secretary (on a telemetry floor that specializes in post-catheterization patients). He also applied to the nursing program at the College of Health and Sciences associated with the hospital and was accepted to begin in January of 2007. In early June, David moved into a school-sponsored efficiency two minutes by foot from the hospital and school.

My job search tested my patience, but I finally secured a position with the Public Library of Charlotte and Mecklenburg County (thanks to my mom’s encouragement – she works for the Spokane Public Library). I bid adieu to my dear friends and coworkers in South Jersey and, with my mom’s assistance, made my way down to my new apartment in the “historic South End” section of Charlotte in late June 2006. That's when Mom met David for the first time.

David and I grew in our understanding and appreciation of one another throughout the next stage of our courtship. Living in the same city gave us opportunities to go on dates as well as share the “nitty gritty” of daily life. Our relationship was not without challenges, but we learned to work through issues and concerns and find balance in our life together.

David's Perspective:

I met Frances online and, wow, was that different! Avemariasingles.com is a wonderful site where people know that they’re looking to meet a future spouse. I never found that intimidating, as I truly wanted to focus on a God-centered relationship. The cultural context of Catholicism and the desire to follow God’s will provided an environment for two English Literature degree holders to meet and send meaningful emails from a distance.

What Frances and I shared in that first month opened my heart to a whole host of new possibilities. I had lost touch with my faith upon leaving New Orleans and going to college. In south Florida, I spent eight years enrolled in the school of hard knocks making plenty of mistakes. After a while, I began growing up (which I’m still doing) and I opened myself up to God through a lot of heart wrenching struggles. (I’m more than willing to share the experience with anyone who wants to know.) In beginning a relationship with Frances, I got to put into practice so many wonderful truths I had learned while growing up with the Church, my parents, my family, swimming families, and friends. Those emails that Frances and I shared will be treasured for years to come.

Katrina…I write the name and it has so much meaning for so many people. The hardest part about all of it (for me) was my inability to do anything. I wasn’t around to help and that was so difficult. I’ve heard stories. I talked with people. It’s not the same. For all of you affected by Katrina, I have lifted you up to God and have prayed deeply for you and will continue to do so. Frances was so great and understanding during this event. Words typed here could never fully express my gratitude for her support.

Time moved on and the catch at this point: we don’t always speak like we write, and anyone who knows me can vouch for that. When we called each other, two different backgrounds met and a whirlwind began. Yet, it was a whirlwind guided by God and I received a glimpse of how wonderful Frances is. I had never met anyone online before, but I had to meet this amazing woman. She courageously chose to meet me in South Florida while I was living with the Goodwin family. Suffice it to say, there were a couple of points during the weekend where I acted tense and blunt ("a typical male," as my mother would say) and when she left, I figured I had blown my chance.

I am so grateful she chose to see past my faults.

With more visits, emails, letters, gifts, and a stout Cingular plan, we grew together. I have learned so much about myself through her example and sharing. Our visits were few but they were so special. We learned the value of patience, but it was a long and trying lesson at times. Finally we decided to live in the same city, and after a long process we chose Charlotte.

Once here, one of my biggest weaknesses truly came to the surface: being able to let go and trust in Christ completely which meant fully letting go and trusting Frances. Wow, here’s where support from family and friends and even co-workers came to bear. Really throwing myself into prayer and Frances’ witness, forgiveness, and patience really provided a great environment where I could be open to healing from so many of the mistakes I had made.

God is good.

There are so many people to thank in addition to Frances. But in this section, it is imperative to thank the Goodwin family for their support during my courtship with Frances. Also, I must give thanks to all who worked at Memorial Pembroke while I was courting Frances. God gave me some awesome support.

Now read about our engagement!